Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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