why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
