Your dad touched me again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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