do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
