Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize