I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
