ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
