I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
