id be glad to
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
