That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
