so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
