He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
what day is it and did you see me today?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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