i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
