toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
