i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
