Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
