awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
