I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
