I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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