My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize