your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize