where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I want her autograph on my taint
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize