Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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