u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
