so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
