Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
