I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
