I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
