Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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