its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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