living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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