Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
