Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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