And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
