It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
