am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
