8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
