A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
