found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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