yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
