Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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