I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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