His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize