K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
