would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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