maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
