Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
