can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
