You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
