How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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