so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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