Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
