we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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