girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
