what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
