I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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