i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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