Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yo dont text me then not text me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
