the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
