it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
