Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
