Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize