Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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